It's spelled "Koenigsegg" FOOLS

Car show was pretty tight. We'll just go straight into the pictures. If you don't like them skim the text cause there will be at least one mildly interesting anecdote that has not THAT much to do with cars.
It's me! Ok so the picture is backwards because that was self pic mode but that says 430 SCUDERIA
as in:
As in:
As in the one that is faster than the Enzo. Was in the top 5 of cars I've always wanted to see in person. It did not dissapoint.
So, the anecdote, one of the "spokesmodels" came up and was talking to me. The point of these hot girls standing around talking to dudes who are obviously lusting after the cars and NOT (ok well not as much) the chicks and then trying to talk to the dudes about the cars when it's fully understood by each party which of them knows almost every detail of the car being lusted after, it absolutely baffles me.
Choice comments from the girl:
"They pay so much attention to the details. Like, the details. Like everything on the car."
Oh, so that's why they can ask for and get $300,000 for one and sell out of them every year before they are even manufactured. The details! I can't believe I never thought of that!
"You have to take special classes to drive one, it's not like a city car. You can't really drive it in the city."
Well, that explains the 5-point harnesses and carbon-carbon brakes then, huh?!
"It's like, you think you could just get in this or like get in and drive an F1 car but you can't."
No, actually I didn't think that. Actually I thought if I got in and tried to drive an F1 car it would go a little something like this:


OOPS!
And that was a professional rally driver driving. A good one too.
And the crown jewel quote:
"Have you driven one of these before?"
Okay, am I stuffing $50s in your thong? WTF?
The way I usually look, even coming home from work, I expect people to ask me things like "When was yer last meal ya poor soul?" "Have ya had a hot shower this month?" "There's a soup kitchen just down that road!" But "Have you driven a Ferrari F430 Scuderia, like EVER?" If you really love the word "no", then by all means, ask this to everyone. You'll be plenty happy with the results.

Anyway, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she just was trying to make conversation to the only non-horny-old-midlife-crisis-dude hanging around that wasn't unattractive. Right. I'll just tell myself that. That's her ass on the far right of the picture directly above. She was cute. And Dutch. Hey I said it was only a mildly interesting anecdote.

Weismann was indeed present. They make some crazy retro-y stuff.
The ones I designed for the formula car last year were a lot prettier... The judge even said so! (From the Ariel Atom, this guy here:)
Got to sit in the new Audi R8 V10, which I don't think is on sale yet...:

Have to say the RS6 station wagon felt nicer with those ridiculous race seats.
Anyway, the highlight: Koenigsegg was there but no CCXR Edition : ( but they did have a display model so that was cool.
Despite how the pictures look I actually have lost some weight since I got here. And gotten even handsomer. I know you thought it was impossible. But it wasn't. That's the Koenigsegg coat of arms there. Er whatev. I like this part much more:
It's a little ghost sticker that they put in the rear window of each car. They used to assemble them at an old Swedish air force base in a hanger er something. The ghost was the air squadron's mascot. So Koenigsegg adopted it. That old factory burnt down if I remember correctly, so they have some new digs, but kept the ghost. I think it looks badass cause it doesn't look badass, and yet is, thus amplifying the badassness.
If you are new to this blog, my humor is tongue in cheek. A lot of times you will not know I'm joking but I am. Also, WTF are you doing here? Please keep coming back! Join my other 3 fans! Please!
^^^^Sorry but it is pretty badass, hence the coolness of the non-badass mascot^^^^
The gauges were downright dainty tho, I'd be afraid to sneeze while driving, pretty sure they'd shatter.
The tires, however, were far from dainty. I'm not a big dude but my hands aren't small. I usetacould stretch pinky and index the top five frets on a full scale bass (still could if'n I had a bass to practice on). Thats a good 6-7 inches. The rear tires are at least a foot across. Prob 14 inches er so. Okay so I had to google it. They are 13.1889764 inches across. Google doesn't lie. And it measured them to the nearest half 100 millionth of an inch. With some alien technology I guess.

On a completely unrelated note we randomly stumbled upon a rabbit jumping competion a couple weeks ago:

If you look really closely and ignore the freaks that are participating in this you can probably JUST make out the little bunnies jumping over obstacles.
I was absolutely spellbound watching the rabbits running the obstacle course. For some stupid reason no one else was and I was drug away by the hair.
Gotta end this the only way I know how, with some poetry:

GIRLL WE OFF IN THIS G
FOGGIN WINDOWS UP
BLASTIN' THA RADIO
IN THE BACK A MY TRUCK
BOUNCIN' UP AN' DOWN
STROKE IT ROUND AN' ROUND
TO THE REMIX
WE JUS' THUGGIN' IT OUT

Fin

WOOOOOOO!!!

ATTA BOY SEBASTIAN!
I'm the dude at the bottom left. Sweartagod.

So the weekend kicked ass, mainly because of the dude up there, but Stockholm was pretty tight too. Nausicaa wasn't as sweet as I remembered, Miyazaki has done some much better stuff, but it was still worth seeing on the big screen. Carro's new apartment on Kungsholmen is really nice. I randomly saw one of the coolest dudes from work at the 7-11 around the corner from Carro's place when I went to get sugar for the cake we were making. Over 1 million people in Sthlm and I run into somebody I work with when I step out for like 5 minutes. It was cool though.

This weekend is shaping up to be awesome too. Fredrik and Gustav will come to Uppsala and we will all go to Flustret a.k.a. Jurassic. Frida will be in Gävle. Shaping up to be dudes night out #2. Too bad we won't have a 'bago named "The Warrior" that eight drunken assholes and a two hour drive at 2:30am couldn't kill. No, it took a tornado to do that. I don't think many involved in dude's night out #1 read this but, shouts out to you all. Legendary. Just legendary.

Oh, and a car show Friday night also. Not just any car show, like a supercar show supposedly. The website says even Weissmann will have a display there. WEISS MAN. I really really REALLY want to see a Koenigsegg CCX Edition. I think there's only like, what, 5 though? I dunno they'll have a display there and this IS the stupid country where they are made so I guess I got the best chance I'll ever get to see one in person. SWOON.

Nutmeg by ghostface ft. rza is the JOINT
C is the heavenly option by heavenly is also the JOINT
I'm really pissed I can't download shit right now because the list of shit I want just continues to grow and grow. And most of the shit I can't buy anyway so making it illegal for me to download it is pointless. You bastards!

Maybe more tomorrow. You bastards!

EPIC

WHOOOOOOOO VeeeeeeeeeeeTTEEEEEELLLLL!
Second pole of his F1 career today in China! Only had one lap to do it in Q3 and he pulled it off. WoOt!!! Dude is a monster! Red Bull WHAT!
Damn I can't believe it's been 13 days since I posted last.
Today we are going into Stockholm for the first time in quite a while. I get to go see my favorite Miyazaki (actually they are all my favorite *GUSH*) movie which is playing for some reason on the big screen in two theatres downtown. After that we will meet up with Frida's friend Carro. Hopefully there will be plenty of drinking after that, but probably not since after paying for the movie I'll be broke as a joke. Like $5 to my name broke. Getting paid once monthly sucks, especially when like 75% of it goes straight to bills by the next day. I was s'posed to be rich already, WTF? Guess I would be if I wasn't paying the way for other people. STUDENT people. Cough. Frida. Cough. Huh? She better make bank when she's done er her ass is out on the kerb.
Gotta go for now. Fika calls.

EN TILL

Couldn't help it, gotta post one more. Short. Since life is goooooood.

View off my back porch like 10 minutes ago.
Some of the neighbors have something called "Norwegian forest cats" that wander around down there (I saw one right after I took the pic). I'd never heard of that but I guess it's a real thing. Anyway those fuckers are HUGE! Ok I mean really maybe only a little bigger than any other house cat. Their feet really seem to be gigantic, I guess fer tree climbin' er something. Last time we saw two and one actually was in a tree. Then yesterday when I got home from work there was one stalking something in the neighbors yard and it's brown so I thought it was a wood pile. It was kinda like stretched out while it was standin' there and it really did look a lot bigger than a normal cat. Maybe just my imagination though. Anyway I really want one now so I can train it to climb the trees next door and then drop out of them onto people heads and claw their faces. Tight.
Actually screw that, there's these things here called lodjur a.k.a. Lynx in english. I guess a family of 'em have taken up residence somewhere around Uppsala (where we live). I need to capture one of those bitches and train it in the unholy arts:
Yeah BOYEE!!! Think about that bitch chargin' at ya and casting soul steal lvl 48!!! 50 pounds of running pissed off unholy awesome WILL knock you on your ass, I don't care if you're frickin' Chuck Norris. THAT'S THE JOINT!!! (photo courtesy wikipedia)

Back to chillin'

SANTA=SATAN

Just move the N! Think about it! Promise me you'll think about it! You ain't gonna think about it : (
VETTEL!!! REPRUZZZZZENT!!! WHAT WHAT!!! DATS MAH BOYEE!!!
Watched Låt Den Rätte Komma In the Swedish movie from last year that got 43 award nominations and 6 wins. It was aight. I guess all the nominations was cause peeps from other countries was jes happy Sweden made a decent movie... I just wrote like a 300 word essay about the isolation aesthetic in most Swedish movies and compared it to the movie Capote and presumably the book In Cold Blood and also the reality of Swedish society then read it back and realized how tragically boring it was so I deleted all of it.
Today I told Frida one of my brilliant plans. If my contract is not renewed in June I'll start training to row across the Atlantic. It takes about 90 days of 8-12 hours a day of rowing, and probably a good 8 months of training 10 hours a day before that since I've never rowed anything before in my life. (Wait does double fisting brews count as rowing? Nahh, prob not...) She had the balls to laugh at me. I'll show her good in exactly 11 months after June.
Pictures!
Norrviken station where in the few times I use the train to and from work (which sucks btw, although I'd say about 35% of the time you don't have to pay since they never come by to take your money, which is tiiiiiiight) I stop by.
There's m' train.
Frida's parents and granparents at our place on the weekend before my birthday.

All the stuff Frida baked me for my birthday not including cake! It was all really good. Carrot cake is my fav! Mmmmm!
Cake!!! that 28 is for 28/1.2 meaning I'm 23.3 years old! The /1.2 didn't fit!
The weather here is amazing today. The door is wide open and I'm wearing shorts!
The slightly longer than KS winter is more than worth it for this.
I gotta crack another beer now and drink it on the back porch, LATER FOOLS

2009-03-28

As usual no major self-discovery, stunning insight or earth shattering news. Amazingly I have actually done some stuff this week.
/update format

-Monday went to class and afterwards hung out with some dudes from my Swedish class, two greeks, a brit, and a dude from Cali(fornia).

-We discussed the public urination habits of Swedes. Verdict: Whole different sense of shame here. Whole different.

-We did discuss other more positive things about being in Sweden, but I'd rather mention the embarrasing stuff. Cause it's more interesting to read. No?

-I've developed a very positive opinion of Greeks after meeting several through the Swedish class I'm taking. The ones I have talked to are all hilarious. Or quite smart. And usually a very entertaining combination thereof.

-Not such a good opinion of Russian mail order brides (*cough*egotistical*cough*).

-I've heard the Finnish dude in class is really funny to hang out with. I think he makes a lot of money and travels a lot as some sort of business man. Only thing I know about him is he really likes Metallica and Iron Maiden. Oh and, amazingly, he must have worse vision than me since he has these THICK-ASS glasses, thickest I ever saw. If he was short and wrinkly he would look exactly like Hans Moleman.

-Back to Greeks, they talked about Soccer hooliganism quite a bit. Apparently football clubs in some countries are like thinly veiled and very effective parapolitical entities, with the fans like borderline mercenary armies. Apparently full circumvention of the political and legal process becomes a routine excercise. Who knew? I guess people who pay attention to European soccer. For example: you own of a football club and need to tear down and rezone a few square miles of a city for that massive new mall project that will net you billions of Euros and don't want to bother with things like "property law" or "protected historic buildings" or "taxes". Just tell the 20,000 fans of your club that pesky thing called the "government" is going to put an end to the team if you can't build your mall and thus afford to keep Pele on the payroll (or something like that). Massive protests. Problem solved. I probably butchered the example (which was just one true story from their hometown), but you kinda get the idea. The funny part was they were fully aware of this phenomenon, hated the corruption of it, yet at the very end of the story Vangelos, with a murderous glint in his eye, was all "BUT I STILL LOVE THAT TEAM DAMMIT!" Fascinating.

-Thursday we went to this bar in Stockholm that had a bunch of pool tables to play billiards and have a farewell party for the dudes that are retiring (on my birthday). They gave us a lesson on how to play and then we had this short tournament as teams of 2. I basically ruined me and Peters chances to win everytime. After the tournament the dude that gave the lesson did some pool tricks. He asked us first if we wanted to see some tricks. It was really odd cause it was exaclty like the end of that Simpsons episode when Mark McGwire is like "Who wants to see me hit some dingers!" er whatever. Kind of odd. I dunno I guess the tricks guy was famous er something (probably only in Sweden) cause his picture was on the wall a lot.

-Anyway we drank and ate on the company dime (I hope, cause I never paid fer nuthin'). I can't believe how unaccustomed I've become to the affects of alcohol. The dudes that were gonna retire were pretty drunk when we (the Uppsala guys) left. Aparently the Sthlm dudes went to another bar after that. And the bar after THAT bar wouldn't let them in cause they were all too drunk. Then everyone was there the next day and seemed to be in much better shape than me. I guess I've become as big a pussy as I had feared.

-Funny story from the billiards place. These two women came that apparently used to work for the company and are BIG cougars, I guess, judging from the one story that everyone was sure to tell me before they showed up. One word: cucumber. Fill in the rest yourself. Cause this is a family blog. You sick goddamn perverted fuckstains.

-FORMULA 1 STARTS TOMORROW!!! I've been really pumped and scouring the internet reading about it for months. All I can say is I REALLY REALLY wish I would have had the money to bet on this season. There won't be another chance to make as much off the underdogs for a long, long time. My boy Vettel qualified 3rd. Brawn GP took the pole and 2nd. Merc.-McClaren was garbage and Ferrari not a lot better. I want to make sweet love to Barichello and the Brawn cars while Richard Branson films it.

-That humor (humour?) was oddly British. I've thought a lot about how easy it is to parody British humour. Easy as madlibs. Observe:

"I'd expect to hear that from a (English city)ite with a (piece of clothing, hairstyle, or fashion accessory). You look like (English D list celebrity) after (embarrassing activity)"

"Americans are fat"

Cue uproarious Brit laughter.
It works every time without fail and every British joke follows one of those two templates.

Will post more and some pictures later tonight.

BRANIFF
Believe it!

New Stylezzz/Gold Soundzzz

Aight foo's vi ska försöka med det nya utseendet på bloggen nu, so skip to the sections (the big bold text) you are interested in, that way I can write as much as I want and not feel lame for the huge post since you can skip what you don't want to read about:

MUSIC

"Final Day" - Young Marble Giants
According to wikipedia the YMGs have some loose connection to Scritti Politti AND Nirvana which is helt bra eller/or hella cool in my book. This song is what I personally consider a "perfect song" and I can count on one or two hands the number of those I've heard, and I take the title of "perfect song" very seriously. A perfect song rating by me is completely independent of genre, topic, concept, lyrics, instruments, band, artists, whatever, you name it. Look, if Limp Bizkit and/or Coldplay created what was in my opinion a perfect song I would readily admit and celebrate it, though I'm 99.999% sure it'll never happen. Anyway, I usually highly dislike songs that sound all palm muted indie cool gayness (which p.s. this song was about 27 years ahead of that particular fashion) and yet it's somehow more than what's at the surface. Not a single misplaced sound, poorly chosen word, or wasted note in 1'42" of flawlessness that leaves you begging for more when it ends all too soon (kinda like, uh, LIFE?). Look, you may not agree and that's cool. We're still buds.

"Get By" - Talib Kweli
I never listened to Talib Kweli before this song (or after for that matter) yet somehow since my best homie Ryan told me Talib Kweli was the shit (and he also said Pete Yorn was the shit, so, ya know, take that with a grain of salt) I've just assumed he was. And Ryan was correct. This song brings all the hotness you can imagine. You like bass? You like rhymes? You like soul? You like idiosyncratic piano loops (I love 'em!)? It occurs to me just now that for some reason Ryan has much better taste in black boy music than in white boy music, which is really odd cause he makes some damn good white boy music. Can someone explain that to me?
"We rock like Paul McCartney/from now until the last beat'll drop"
Fuck yeah, you already did your job, and there's still two left.

While we are on the topic of explaining things to me, someone PLEASE explain to me why '93/'94 were by far the absolute best years for hip-hop? Has there ever been as productive a year (ya know, time frame wise) for any genre of music? I'm thinking motown could outstrip it if someone had the time/nerdiness to correct me. Do it, I'd love to know.

PICTURES

One tiny part of the lovely paper mill outside of Frida's hometown. You have no idea how bad this thing smells when it's working at normal capacity. Imagine feeding your baby indian food for a month straight then getting it drunk on cheap beer one night and then changing its diaper the next afternoon. What came out of the baby smells similar, yet way better than this thing, I promise you. Frida's parents' house is like 30 miles north of it but when the wind is wrong you won't want to go outside if you can help it. Frida just corrected me that there is a paper mill closer than this one that makes the smell at her parents house.
Does it matter?
Lots of snow in Gävle a few weeks ago. You can kind of tell from the picture if you look at the size of the car with respect to the snow piles. The snow plows make big ass mountains that don't melt usually, so if there is a few snow storms and no warm weather they just keep stacking up.
Snow pile in Frida's neighborhood.
Bridge over the river near Frida's house.
View from the bridge.

CULTURE

The amount of piss next to roadways and sidewalks is UNBELIEVABLE. You'd never know it in countries that don't have snow that sticks for weeks at a time, but apparently either people absolutely LOVE to park their cars and then pee right into the snow in front of them or a lot of people are bringing their dogs everywhere they go and not giving them enough breaks on the way. I dunno but the amount of yellow snow I've seen here is outrageous. Never touch the side of a road or sidewalk with anything but the soles of your shoes. That's all I gotta say.

Going to a concert on Sunday night in Stockholm. I'll try to take pictures and post them on here. It's exciting cause I haven't been to a real concert here yet and this one is at, as far as I can tell, a very hip bar in the very hip area of Stockholm (not the expensive hip area, the poor hip area... I can't afford expensive hip, basically no one can here). I'm planning on wearing my ugliest most unhip clothes to make sure everyone knows I'm not hip, so we'll see how that goes. I'd hate to be mistaken for someone cool in the cool part of town, ya know?