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BITE ME

Yah I was gone for a while. You didn't notice nuthin' and you won't notice I'm back... So SHADDUPPAYOMOUTH-A.
This'll probly be long tho.

We are seriously poor after the trip to the US so we stayed home and watched TV tonight.

Background:
One of my favorite shows here are of the "Uncovered" British persuasion, "Ibiza Uncovered" especially. It's a reality show of drunken whatever-the-British-equivalent-of-white-trash-is tourists flashing their dicks and tits for an hour and basically fucking in the streets 'cause they are too drunk and horny to make it back to the hotel. And, yes, IT IS THE HOLY GRAIL OF REALITY TV.
P.S. the current name of the blog was inspired by an episode where two 40-something women ditched their husbands and 7 children for a week to go to Ibiza and try to find 18 year old boys drunk enough to "shag" them... And trust me, they succeeded. Anyway tonight we watched the heavily edited American equivalent like "Party Police" or some shit about drunken white trash at Lake Havasu in the US.
Observations that we made:
Young people in the US have such a messed up view of sexuality compared to the equivalent Brits. The Brits (boys AND girls) are totally realistic about it "Yeah I came here to screw a bunch of people, I'll make no bones about that. I'll probly only get lucky like three times this week but it won't be for lack of trying to score with EVERYONE." Like they all know exactly what is going on, no confusion. I'm sure there are plenty of Brits who don't want to only get drunk and fuck, but those are the boring ones so I don't care. Compare that to the Americans, who put on these ridiculous acts "Ohhh, I'm the good girl who likes to dance drrrty and flash ma tits all over, but I wouldn't mess with you (actually I'll mess with your dog if you give me one more beer)" and "Oh I'm the alpha male who likes to run my mouth and gets laid 8 times a day (except I've only seen a vagina once besides my moms and wouldn't know what to do with yours if you gave it to me on a silver platter)". No one actually comes out and says "I'm only here to get laid. Period." They all seem to have no idea what's going on or how to get what they want despite all wanting the same thing. It's like they are all playing some part in a terrible daytime UPN tween show where mentioning or showing anything even remotely resembling "the business" is strictly VERBOTEN.
There is one explanation for this: in the US party shows are heavily edited so the children don't learn how to act appropriately in drunken orgy style situations past what they have seen in wholly unrealistic Hollywood movies. In Britain the party shows are heavily unedited and the children understand early on that if they want to be drunken sluts for a couple years then just fuckin' do it and don't mess about or you'll blow yer chances. Plus you probly got about 68 more years to be all serious and lame and shit. Listen, this all made so much sense earlier that I could have written about 5 graduate theses on the subject. And that's not even touching on the (flaunted!) complete lawlessness of the British show and the authoritarian moralism of the American garbage (only two sets of tits, and both BLURRED). GOD I should just go back to school and be some pissant philosophy major. I could crank out about 6 degrees a year with this preternatural nogginizing! Masters, PHDs, whatev. They'd give up in about a year and just name the university after me.
END
Next topic:
The most recent episode of Top Gear:
Speaking of theses, if you've ever wanted to know how a battle of wits between Britain and the US would go, look no further than Jeremy Clarkson's conversation with Jay Leno. I'll give you a hint. Jay Leno: NOT. FUCKING. FUNNY... EVER. No matter how hard he tries. Jeremy Clarkson: doesn't try to be funny out of respect for Mr. Leno. STILL. FUCKING. FUNNY. There's so many research papers here I'm hyperventilating. And I haven't even mentioned Japan!!!!

C'mon! Overwrought? Sigh. Ok, maybe a little.
Top Gear.
If you don't agree that it is one of the best TV shows ever... I can understand your point of view. However, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND CAR CULTURE.
Bitch.
I urge you to educate yourself, because you are missing out. Look, one thing I realized in the US these past couple weeks; understanding lots of different cultures increases YO' PLEAZHA. Kinda like those ribbed condoms, or the dog-catchin' dad in "Friday" right? IT'S MAH PLEAZHA! Music, film, cars, video games, literature, anime... Those are just the obvious ones... Tibetan throat singing, Kendo, biology, guns, C'MON there's tons of crap out there. Do yourself a favor and pick a few things yer not into but think you could be and get into them. Just pick something, anything, that you're not that into and read about it! It ain't much work and there is plenty of shit yer missin' out on I promise. But, ok, so you will get into trouble for instance when your film buffness clashes with your car buffness...
"Good night."
The two most unfortunate words ever chosen on a program of ONLY fortunate word choices. If he had just managed to keep his huge mouth shut for two seconds and just DRIVEN for that last shot think of how great that whole segment would have been. Ah well, he gets paid to open his mouth and we all love him for it, water under the bridge Jezza, water under the bridge.
Now get back to not reading my blog you basterds!

FULL DISCLOSURE

In the previous post I was comparing casey and his brother to the music of xiu xiu. Indeed the only reason I checked out casey and his brother was because I read an article about xiu xiu that referenced those characters, and how we laugh at their tragedy er something I don't even remember now... Anyway, I extrapolated some more out of the comparison blah blah no plagiarism here!

I'm slowly accumulating pictures of things that I suspect may be of some amusement for native english speakers that probably don't seem that odd to swedes. I call my collection "pictures of things that I suspect may be of some amusement for native english speakers that probably don't seem that odd to swedes". I'll share soon.

More youtube clips!!!
This is an I guess "anti-alcohol" (I didn't bother to check out the website it's pimping) commercial that plays on prime time TV and before movies here:
ok the embed isn't working so here is the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qndon0E05Qo

Yes, PRIME TIME TV. Perhaps you couldn't help but notice that among other things it portrays a young man recieving oral sex in a public restroom while he films it with his cell phone then later shows the footage to his friend who is understandably very amused and, I'll speculate here, quite impressed with the first young man's prowess.
Ahem.
Yes.
Um.
I don't think I'm getting the message I'm supposed to...
Suggestion to casting directors of future anti-alcohol ads:
Think over your casting choice for "oral sex girl #1" long and hard.
Long.
And hard.

HERE, YOU'RE WELCOME!

Well I've officially lived in Sweden for exactly one year and a few days now. Feels weird. Have to say I didn't mind the winter at all. Actually I liked it, it's nice to have snow pretty often. The only bad thing about summer is trying to sleep when it is so light. But having light all day when you don't have to get a good night of sleep is awesome enough so it balances out I guess.
I had some purpose for posting... what was it... oh yes.
Can anyone explain to me why in the hell I find this so hilarious???:

I choked on my own laughter the first time I watched it. I have no idea WHY it's funny though. Iced canes??? OMG CLASSIC! There's a second part where they call pool "felted holes". I choked again.
More deliciousness:

That is by far the most genius piece of comedy I have seen in a LONG time. The strangest part is how close (I assume unintentionally) it comes to being a xiu xiu (usually what I'll reply if you ask me my favorite band, that er Ghostface Killah)song. Like REALLY REALLY close. But the affect this hamburgers song cultivates is the exact opposite of the aesthetic xiu xiu cultivates (I think???). Is it simply a parody of xiu xiu? Not likely as the other "Casey and his brother" songs don't quite bear that out. Although the "School" song is frightening in a xiu xiu way, it's still more terrifying than any xiu xiu song I've ever heard, and yet is still funny. Could it be that Jamie Stewart's deadpan capacity actually runs THAT deep??? Genius is as genius does I gyiss. Anyway, here's hoping that Jamie's abuse humor never stops bummin' me out and that recently-burned-to-death-emotionally-shattered-visibly-battered-17-yr-old-neglectees never stop being so f-ing hilarious.
If for some strange reason you thought the above was horrible........y AWESOME like I do check the montage out, EVEN ROCKY HAD A MONTAGE!!!
Even if you didn't like the above, promise me you'll check out the songs "School" "Robbers and Cops" "Xmas Wish" in the following, they are alternately macabre, terrifying, disgusting, disturbing and HILARIOUS:

Brilliant!

LONG WEEKEND OVER : (

Sigh. The long weekend is over.
After having 96 hours of freetime here is what was accomplished:
Yes I made a bookshelf. Well, by "made" I mean assembled the pieces we got in a box from Ikea. No, you are not seeing things, the bed is indeed as long as the room is wide. And it is a tiny bed BTW.
Frida's sister gave us this weather predictor clock thingy that has a wireless weather detector yer supposed to put outside. So I made a little hut for it out of an old plastic bottle and put it out on the back porch. Yes, this is absolutely the geekiest thing I've ever done and I've done more geeky things of varying types and degrees than you can imagine.Anyway I went to all that trouble makin' a little hut and stuff and the damn thing says it's like 70 degrees outside when it's really like 60 degrees outside : ( Somehow it knows that it's cloudy tho, and also tells you if the temp is going up or down.
Moving on... We saw Angels and Demons last night. I guess it could have been worse. I liked the ending, cause the movie was over. Naw, I mean it wasn't awful, but it was pretty silly, especially for seeming to take itself so seriously. I really missed Rome while I was watching it though, basically the whole movie is just one constant reminder that Rome is frickin' sweet. And I'm pretty sure only maybe 10 of the 138 minutes were ACTUALLY in Rome. The rest was CG and soundstages, and probably other Italian citys, as far as I could tell. It also made me think about the fact that Ron Howard has been in showbiz since he was like 5, and he seems pretty normal. He must be the only one.
Oh, I also accomplished this:
I pissed somebody off cause I put glass in the trash room. Good thing they don't know I'm also the one who kept putting regular trash in the compost bin cause I didn't bother reading the signs above them. Look at all those exclamation marks! If they practiced sharia in this country instead of anonymous public shaming I guess I'da been stoned.
Pretty nice weekend over all though.

4 DAY WEEKEND

Today is a holiday so I don't have to go to work. I don't know what the holiday is for but it means I get today and Friday off. I bought some MGD at the alcohol store. I really like MGD. I never used to buy it at home cause it was more expensive than my dirt cheap favorite Miller High Life Light ("the champagne of beers"). But I think if I had been slightly more rich I would have bought MGD all the time instead of High Life. Absolutely nothing else of note. I won a little bit of money at poker this week. No idea why I started playing again out of the blue, but I did. I been playing pretty well. Main thing is the patience. And the not getting pissed at bad beats and going on tilt. If I can keep those two things up I usually play pretty well.
Maybe another post later in the weekend.
Oh, p.s. Norway won the Eurovision contest with some lame violin song. Boring.

EUROVISION SONG CONTEST

I actually caught some of this a couple nights ago.
IT WAS GLORIOUS. It is the weirdest shit ever. There is no context that will allow you to make any sense of it AT ALL. It is AWESOME!
If you somehow have absolutely no idea what it is, it's what it sounds like. A bunch of european countries have contests to find their entry for the year, and then all the countries compete against each other in the country that won the previous year... Anyway some countries try to blend their traditional music with pop music. Entertainment ensues.
Observe:


And a lot of it is just TRULY AWFUL heightening the entertainment to levels till then unkown to me:

Watch that one to the end. WOW
Anyway just had to share that little tidbit. Thinking about watching the finals tonight but I think it might be boring after the shock of the first viewing wears off.