HAPPY NEW YEAR

I guess I did post in November. Howzabout that. Well this will count as my December post, just barely.

Hey, can you find the American hiding in this picture?

Swedes: "I must say chaps, this is a reasonably enjoyable night!" "Quite!" "Indubitably!" American: "I'M ON THE NIGHT TRAIN BITCHES! BOTTOMS UP! WHOOO WHOOO!!!"

What an American ass! I bet that douche doesn't even remember that picture being taken and then posted on the club's website for everyone in town to see. Dumbass! I'd like to say it's not as bad as it looks and they just took the funniest of several photos of us. I'd like to say that, but, ya know...

And on to updates...

-Haven't crashed my bike into anything and nothing has crashed into me yet... Surprisingly.

-I'm on what I like to call an "accidental personal hygiene shopping error" spree. First I bought this $5 (non-vibrating even) toothbrush cause the sign said it was on sale for like $2. Nope, the sign was for a different one even though it was right in front of the one I got. I was pissed. Then I brushed my teeth with it. To quote one of my favorite movies: "I don't know if it's worth five dollars, but it's pretty fucking good."
A few weeks later I bought this Gillette Fusion razor on accident cause from where it was behind the counter I thought it was the cheap one (it was really like $18 for the holder thingy and like 2 replacement heads, hey I'm legally blind okay?). It has like 5 blades on it, looks like a jet fighter and I'm pretty sure just placing it gently on the ground anywhere in Iraq would take out way more insurgents than I could with a tank. Anyway, I shaved with it and... extrapolate using previous quote.

-The company Christmas party was pretty cool. It was on this island in the archipelago, and we stayed overnight at the hotel. Since it was dark and most of the houses were deserted for the winter (i.e. no lights on) we couldn't really see much of the island. Good food, this weird singing group of 2 girls and some guy that were parodying Swedish songs and singers that I didn't really get, but it was still funny to me cause the singer dude was waaaayyy over the top (and I'm pretty sure drunk). Running around smacking everyone on the back like old pals, incorporating everyone who walked by to get to the food table into his act. It was entertaining. I sat in the one seat that was right next to them (didn't know they would be performing there) so the spotlight was on me the whole time and the dude was basically spitting in my food everytime he opened his mouth. Which was really often (he was singing). From what I've heard about company Christmas parties here, I thought people would get way drunker at the bar later than they did. Although one older guy who I really like (who reminds me of a big bald bearded teddy bear) did get pretty drunk, it was awesome. Good times.

-Swedish classes are on break till February. I'm much much better at reading now and I can almost follow most of some newspaper articles, if you can follow that. Especially if the article is about a beating, stabbing, murder, race riot, or car accident. And about every other day I can understand 90% of my favorite daily comic strip "Rocky". It's about an anthropomorphic dog, mouse, and frog who are friends and get drunk all the time and then occasionally go on dates with other (remarkably attractive) anthropomorphous cartoon animals of the opposite sex. Really that's about all that happens. Listening is still an exercise in concentration and luck (not to mention extremely frustrating and tiring). Speaking I would say is still at a 3 year old's level or so but with an adult, how shall I say, sensibility. For instance: "Me potty now." "I want food on dinner." "When shall we go at party later?" "How much for sucky sucky?" is about my level of discourse. And really if you think about it those are pretty much the only phrases one would ever need know in a foreign language... If I had to stop learning now. Oh, and trust me, everytime I learn a word that could even remotely be twisted into some kind of perverted meaning I do everything in my power to make Frida annoyed at my immaturity.

Gotta go for now. I have a feeling tonight will end up the exact opposite of the above picture, with me being the straight man and everyone else being crazy. Since it always happens that way. I believe I've mentioned my inability to synch up with everyone else's partying. Sigh.

Gott nytt år bitches!

IT'S COLD

But not that cold...



YET. My fingers were numb riding my bike home from Joel's place after work tonight. I'm NOT looking forward to riding the bike in snow and ice. At least I have a helmet now which looks dorky as hell but I truly believe it is only a matter of time before I'm hit by a car on my bike. I've already crashed twice on the one day it was icy screwing up the bike really bad and busting up my hand, but when I got the bike fixed I had snow tires put on which was jävla dyrt (f-ing expensive). When Frida took it to the repair place for me they were like "Did he have to go to the hospital? How bad was he hurt?" So I guess if the bike repair guys say that the thing was messed up.

-My new favorite Swedish word is "sjuksköterskeutbildningen", and I are proud cause I can say it good fer realzz. The meaning is boring but it is a bus stop. Peeps in my Swedish class say it's worth the bus fare to hear the Stephen Hawking robot voice with the Swedish accent say it when you stop there on the bus. "Nästa, Sjuksköterskeutbildningen" Joy!

-I hate Jason Mraz so, so, so much. I want to claw my eyes out when the song comes on the radio in the mornings on the way to work, seriously. I can't believe the other guys still tap their feet to it like it's not the most dry-heave inducing tripe ever conceived by humans. Maybe I should say something. I guess I'm too polite.

-Still playing Castlevania. I recommended it to Jerker. He said he played it on his PSP for like 10 minutes and quit. It felt like the sky had fallen on my head. I wept bitter tears of defeat.

-Really want to see an Amon Amarth show after Cosmo Lee's entertaining review on Pitchfork. Favorite quote from his review: "To see men, women, metalheads, and Wall Street types [when he was at a show of theirs in NYC], young and old, chanting, "Oden! Guide our ships!" was quite heartwarming." Guess I should start by listening to some of their music. Meh.

-Watching the new Dexter episodes a few days after they come out still. Gonna start watching the new season of Top Chef tonight too. Also watching season 12 (newest) of Top Gear as it comes out. Just got the newest epsiode tonight. Top Gear is seriously one of the best TV shows ever, even if I do fast forward through the garbage interviews with British people I don't know when they introduce the Star in a Reasonably Priced car.

-Don't have much time to listen to music, which is truly unfortunate. I wanted to get an ipod when I'm back for Thanksgiving, but thanks to the stupid dollar gaining like 30% on the crown and a lack of fundage it looks like that's down the drain : ( : ( THANKS A LOT STRENGTHENING DOLLAR

Oh, on that note. It was really difficult for me to see how impossible it is to accurately translate one's wages from one currency to another, but this kind of puts it in perspective. Compared to when I started my job I now make 30% less money in dollars. That is a crapload. But my wages haven't changed at all and prices here have remained completely constant. You can see from this example alone how pointless it is to try and convert my wages here to dollars and compare to what I might make at home, which I did when I got here as I didn't understand this strange reality. You can definitely translate prices for goods though. When I got here a lot of good stuff in the U.S. (i mainly was comparing electronic gizmos like an ipod, but a general rule of thumb is half price in the U.S.) was about 50% less than here, but not quite that much anymore : ( : (
I now are sad for no ipod.

Work story!!!

So! A good (and exciting!!!) story, and one that will maybe give you some idea of what it is I do... Some of the time. So, Jerker and I went to our old factory warehouse to take some measurements of a spreader that was shipped back to us for refurbishing. It's been in service in Germany for like 7 years, and it's all beat to hell and dirty as shit. So there is three main parts to a normal spreader. The center section and then the two twin-beam arms on both sides of that. The arms telescope out from the center and are held together by an end gable on the outside to shape like a giant rectangular U. Anyway this spreader is separated into it's three parts, and we are going to take measurments to see how close to tolerance the TBUs (arm thingys) are (answer: not very... now). The port had done some of their own repairs to it while they had it and we have to figure out if the out of tolerance...ness is from them or us or what, and why there was uneven wear in certain spots and not in others, etc. Stuff like that. Anyway, the TBUs are about 25 or 30 ft long and weigh about 5,000lbs each. The one we are messing with is about 4 feet off the ground on these giant metal stands. In order to check the tolerances we have to get the thing squared up as even as possible and as flat as possible, which means lifting it off it's stands and putting metal plates under it. Obviously we have two giant winches on the ceiling to lift it with. We adjust the end without the end gable (read: lighter end) with no problems, but it still isn't quite square so we have to adjust the end WITH the end gable (read: heavy as shit). One of the regular workshop guys is like "Yeah just slide the straps down to the other end and lift." And proceeds to do it, then tear ass with the winches to jack up the heavy as hell end like 6 inches in about 2 seconds, then slam it back down. "See?" and walks away. I'm like "I think we should support the other end, I mean, if it slips..." Jerker "It'll probly be fine." Here's the thing about inertia: It's very difficult to comprehend, even when you know how much something weighs and can see how big it is. If the winch isn't DIRECTLY over the center of the TBU then no matter how slow you lift it a tiny force to the left or right will send 5000lbs hurtling in that direction. Imagine having one of those huge Ford Super Duty trucks hanging in the air and swinging in the breeze. If you try and stop it from swinging, even though it looks like it's going slow, it will KNOCK YOUR SHIT DOWN. Anyway, Jerker very slowly winches up the heavy end. It starts to go a little to the right and then SHIT! It pulls the light end (like 2,000lbs) RIGHT OFF OF THE STANDS. The other two real workshop guys came running over cause it must have sounded like it fell through the earth and hit China or something. I can't really remember how loud it was cause I was too scared when it happened to notice. Luckily there was a wooden pallet in a very lucky spot that shattered and absorbed most of the impact thus no damage was done. When it fell though, I had my hand on a 1/2" thick steel plate, the corner of which ran straight up the length of my hand at about 50mph when the heavy end slid off. SOMEHOW it didn't slice it right open, well, in half really. I have no idea how. We both got REALLY lucky to not have more than only a scratch on me. I learned my lesson: Don't just SUGGEST them, ALWAYS INSIST on the safety precautions and if for some crazy reason you are refused, sit the shit out.

Yaw-mo-be-there

Haha I tricked you. I split this into two posts so you would read them both. DUMMY! NOW READ!

I'm very glad Obama won. Did he go back on his signed agreement, opt into public financing, and buy his presidency? You bet. Do I like that? Not one bit. Can he turn everything into rainbows and unicorns. Doubt it. Is the US headed toward "socialism"? Well if whatever he does sucks you better believe it'll be undone faster than you can say "Hussein" by the Republican horde that swarms Washington next election cycle. So everyone lamenting the fact we elected a "Marxist" can suck my sickle and two hammers. The election is over, remember? You can leave your fear tactics and scary word list on the desk, they finally failed you and they are of no use now. Next election you better bring something more to the table or it'll be four more years of your money going straight into the pockets of free-loaders and high school dropouts. The fact that the entire world is totally pumped that he won means a lot to me. And it'll be freaking awesome being proud instead of mortified when people from other countries start talking to me about our president. Which doesn't come up THAT often but still.

Oh which reminds me, I made this post mainly to talk about something that happened today, but I'll tell this short one too. There's this dude at work, who's probably like 65, kind of strange looking and almost always gives me a hard time about not being fluent in Swedish yet. Tuesday we went to the Port of Stockholm to test a new spreader design we've been working on for a few months. On the car ride there everyone was talking about the election, of course, and they were asking me about it. Anders (boss) asks: "Do you think Obama will get elected?" Me: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure." Old dude: "SO HOW LONG TILL YOU THINK HE GETS SHOT?" Everyone else just kind of chuckles, embarrassed, and I'm like "Well, there are a lot of crazy people with guns out there, but the security is good, they know it'll be more dangerous for him, blah blah, I really hope that doesn't happen, blah blah..." The issue fades and we get on with the (pretty awesome) day. Anyway, Wednesday, it's official, he's elected, and at the coffee break I can tell this dude is absolutely CHOMPING at the bit to say something to me so I do everything possible to avoid him. Sure enough right afterward he comes in all pretending to talk to my buddy Bosse for like two seconds and then comes right up to me and: "So how long till he gets shot?" AGAIN. I give the same answer as the day before, undeterred he presses on: "WHAT DO YOU THINK THE KU KLUX KLAN THINKS ABOUT HIM BEING ELECTED?" I'm like dumbfounded now. "Um there's not much of the Ku Klux Klan left..." "WHAT DO YOU THINK ALL THE BLACK PEOPLE WILL DO WHEN HE GETS SHOT?" Me: blank stare. "I BET THEY WON'T LIKE IT, DO YOU THINK THEY WILL RIOT?" Me: mouth agape. "I BET THEY WILL RIOT!" I slowly turned back to my computer to ignore him and he walked away.
Moral of the story: There are assholes in every country who take great pleasure in rubbing you the wrong way for no reason other than they like being a dickhole, I guess. On a nicer note... At the Stockholm Port, I went up in both of the gantry cranes they had. I don't like heights at all, and the walkways on these things are probably at least 200ft in the air. The walkways are basically metal grates that you can see right through straight down to the ground, there's nothing else underneath you, no supports for the grates or anything. It really looks like theres basically nothing holding you up. I was pretty happy I didn't freak out. It was fun being inside the cockpit thingy with the driver though, in the front the floor is glass so you can see straight down, which didn't bother me since I was enclosed. When they drive those things hard it's impossible to stand upright, it knocks you right over, it was like an amusement park ride. Really cool.

HOORAH

I'm updating!

I will be back in KS from like Nov. 25th until Dec. 4. Give me a holla and we'll drink beer.

We went to a nation last night (like a bar/club for students, Uppsala is a university town after all) and I drank enough to dance, so it was a good night. They played Thriller, and my favorite Swedish song by Håkan Hellström, it's sooooo awesome. Like jangly guitars and all upbeat. People scream the lyrics, everybody's all sweaty and happy. Nations are fun. At the pre-party I could juuuuust understand what people were talking about in Swedish, some of the time. It's weird because I've been concentrating so hard on understanding people and now that I actually barely can, sometimes it's when I'm not concentrating so hard that I understand the most. Weird how it works.

Yesterday I was walking around downtown and in the main square area there was like tons of people holding banners and handing out literature from all different groups including one with a red banner with a hammer and sickle on it and something about the "proletariat" written on it, and a dude on a loudspeaker harrassing everybody, and I think people were walking by and snickering at him. No idea what was going on there. My favorite part though was that amidst all the political activists and survery takers and solicitors and Serious Business was a dude in a giant tiger suit walking around handing out balloons to all the kiddies promoting the fast food chain Max. I wanted to give him a hug but I was too shy : (

It's not really cold here yet, in fact the weather is really similar to KS so far, at least surprisingly so for me. It's just darker a lot more than back home, and getting darker every day. I hear repeatedly all the time from basically everyone about how much warmer the winters are and how much less snow they get than when everyone was young. The older the person the bigger the difference It's kinda scary I guess. I'm definitely not on the doomsday predictions and mass extinctions tip, but damn, it really hits home up here.

Watching season 3 of Dexter and it is just as good as the first two seasons, if not better. I'm really pleased about that, hopefully it continues on this path for a few more seasons.

Mainly playing Castlevania SOTN for PS1 on PS3 (downloaded it off the playstation store). The game is classic, I really really like it. I really really like the PS3 too. Glad that I bought it. I'm also looking forward to buying Rock Band 2 when I'm home (it won't be out over here for several months I think) and I'm probly gonna get Little Big Planet too. Really dumb they had to pull it out of stores to take a song off the soundtrack because it contained lyrics from the koran, but whatev. Guess we gotta be P.C. At least it wasn't like the "Little Mommy Real Loving Baby Cuddle and Coo" doll:
www.kjrh.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=5c383aca-c3d2-4b3d-b4a5-5a8108ba4971

I got a bike now so I've been riding that to the houses of the guys who give me a ride to work, and that's been workin out ok, but it kinda sucks being sweaty on the car ride there. Also bought the cheapest electric guitar that the music store here had, just to mess around with, I was dying to play something even though I'm pretty terrible and can only play "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" right now. I've been working on some slayer, but doggone it if their songs aren't a little tough. I can play some of it about 10 times slower, and thus not nearly as cool. Oh, and I can kinda play some of "Gimme Danger" but it sounds funky. I forgot to buy a tuner (don't really need one anyway, I just tune by ear off websites set up for that purpose, I mean, I'm no David St. Hubbins so it works for me) so maybe thats why it sounds funky, the B string may be a little off... but more likely the tab I was going off of is wrong. Anyway... Frida needs to use the laptop so I'll sign off for now.

ta-ta

RIDICULOUS

Here's your update you vultures:

-Frida was in the hospital with meningitis. That sucked. She is 100% recovered now though. It wasn't the bacteria type that can kill you in a few days, so that was a plus. It was a regular ass rhinovirus that decided "Wouldn't it be sssssupersssssweet if instead of infecting her sssssinussssesssss we infected the membrane between her brain and ssssskull? C'mon! Let'ssss do it to it dewdssss!" She was sick for a good two weeks, half of which was in the hospital supersick. And yes, rhinoviruses all have lisps.

-Went to Rome for 4 days. No way to describe it, you just gotta see it with your own eyes. Favorite parts were: Sistine Chapel - Pictures don't do it justice, you just gotta see it in person, St. Peter's Basilica - it is impossible to have any concept of the size, even when you are in it your brain cannot process how big it is, awesome, Colosseum - again with the size, I thought it was gonna be much smaller. I can't figure out how they built these things. If I tried to make a wall of bricks more than 4 ft high it would tip over forthwith. How their shit is still standing... Well, I guess that's the draw isn't it now? Rome overall was pretty nice. Good weather, not polluted, relatively small area, well dressed people. I'm sorry but I thought people there were in general more attractive than people here in SE. But you know me, I like tall dark and handsome *BLUSH* Plus Swedes dress weird. I'm used to it now I guess, but Italians just dress nice. Oh, also went to this monastery where they have like thousands of monk bones and skulls all decorating the inside, all over the walls and ceilings, including kid skeletons. Really macabre, kinda sick, yet super awesome.

-Got the new 46" HDTV and have been playing tons PS3 in my small amount of spare time (and not updating the blog, obv). Mainly GT5 Prologue and GTA4. Can't freaking wait for Rock Band 2 tho. Will def. pick it up when I'm home for Thanksgiving.

-Started Swedish classes. Interesting folk in the class, all different countries. The french girl has the thickest accent ever. I try not to laugh. Two Americans besides me. Haven't talked to them, mainly to this Greek guy, Spyros, an Australian girl, this kinda odd Italian guy, and the teacher. Everyone is about my age, including the teacher.

-One of the guys I ride to work with bought his car off a gypsy. I told him we think of gypsies in the US the same way we think about fairies and dragons. Some kind of mythical beast. But he bought his car off one. Classic. Gypsy isn't the P.C. term by the way. In case you ever meet one. Kind of like eskimo.

-Harris was eating a hamburger sandwich on break the other day. Not too strange you think? Well, that's what they call horsemeat here. Our hamburger here is "hamburgare" in Swedish. Anyway, the meat is kind of dark and when I saw it I figured that's what it was so I had to call him out on it. I'll get around to trying it one of these days. It sounds pretty tasty actually, it's smoked, for flavor! What I may never try is the rotten herring "surströmming". I probably couldn't get past the overpowering rotting fish smell to actually put it in my mouth.

-Still hate Jason Mraz. Had that fucking song stuck in my head the whole time in Rome. It very nearly ruined the trip. They play it every morning on the radio when we drive to work. I HATE IT SO MUCH



My October resolution is to update more.

Later fools.

YOOOOOO.
I'm so lazy about posting on here. Since last time:
-Brett's friends from Oklahoma were here. One was a bartender. I guess he was a schmoozemaster cause he chatted up everyone that worked there and somehow we ended up getting about $200 worth of alcohol for free at this nice restaurant downtown. Apparently that never happens, but it did this time. It was quite the Tuesday night.
-That weekend was cityfest in Gävle. Good times, good times. They have this food called langos which is kinda like a unbaked pizza on a piece of fried bread. No red sauce but like sour cream and cheese and onions or other stuff depending which on you get. They are freaking awesome and I think they only have them that one weekend for cityfest. The previous weekend we had a kräft (crawfish) party and I got drunker than everyone else and then threw a fit when we were supposed to leave cause I wanted to party more. Everyone laughed at me. Then cityfest weekend I'm like the least drunk and everyone else wants to stay out and party and all I can think about is going home to sleep. Really gotta synch up with everyone else. Oh, but at the kräft party Gustav and Anna had just come back from Greece, and they kept pouring everyone shots of this Greek moonshine that they carried back in this like beat up plastic water bottle, like the kind bottled water comes in and then you throw out. It looked truly frightening, my first question was "Have you actually had this yet?" and my second question was "How is your vision right now?" I guess they sell the stuff at grocery stores, you have to bring your own container and then fill it out of this big jug they have er something. It was pretty good though, it didn't taste nearly as strong as I think it was. And I didn't go blind.
-This past week virtually nothing happened. Won a little money at online poker cause I've been home like everynight. And this weekend we stayed in Stockholm and just walked around on Kungsholmen yesterday, which is a pretty nice area actually, not trendy like Söder and not fancy like the fancy parts of town, but still nice. Although actually I think it is pretty trendy like Söder. But whatev. Besides seeing these giant mounds of poo in two different doorways that were obviously not from dogs, and were probably from the same person, and were truly disgusting, we found this tight store called "Grandpa" where they sold random shit. Kinda like urban outfitters a little but with less clothes. My favorite finds were this GIANT book of photos called "Swedish Fetish". It was just a bunch of people in leather, whips and chains, ball gags, tatoos, corsettes, gimp costumes, cool "Swedish" shit like that. I really wanted to buy it for our coffee table. It would be great. Although I don't think my sense of humor translates well to, you know, people. People would think I was a total perv. And they'd be right. The other find was this memory game, you know the one where the cards are face down and you turn them over two at a time, but this one had pictures of boobs. Like one boob on each card, not a complete pair. Again, hilarious. Again, sense of humor probably doesn't translate. Again, perv.

"I don't know how you guys do things in Europe..."
"New Zealand."
"Ch'yeah, probly!"

I have a new list of movies I want to see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_nasties#The_DPP_list

I hate Adrien Grenier.

The weather here has been mostly rainy and cloudy the past few weeks with a few exceptions. The temperature is like averaging 65 F, need to take jackets or you get cold out in the wind.

On TV earlier they had this really weird show called "sport opera" I guess, that's what's painted behind the commentators anyway. First they had a guy in face paint singing. Then the commentators talked about it, then they played an instant replay of what he had just sung. Then they had these dancers come on and do this really weird air-humping motion with giant smiles on their faces for like 2 minutes straight to some classic opera, then the music stopped and they danced around for like 5 minutes with no music at all. I actually liked the second part, then I wondered why the hell I hadn't changed the channel yet.

I have like 4 canker sores that refuse to go away and everytime I eat or drink juice they burn like all the volcanoes on earth are in my mouth. Damn!

So that's the update. Enjoy.

Urge to kill fading... fading... fading... OR Racecar PIX MeGaPoST!!!!!!

The rage is all gone. I'm looking forward to seeing the Batman movie at home on blu-ray someday, despite what I said yesterday. I'm sure I'll like it a little better next time now that I know it ain't king shit of fuck mountain. Axl Rose remains and always shall be king shit of fuck mountain. So disregard yesterdays rant except for that part.
Moving on...
You may recall (but most likely not) that I have been trying to go to this race team's shop here in Gävle to check out some of the new cars they have acquired since I was there last summer. In the last year their team has branched out from the guy I know and his brother plus one mechanic into like 4 more mechanics/techs plus a team captain, Stanley Dickens, a Swedish racecar driver AND the great-great-grandson of THE Charles Dickens. So they have expanded a lot I'd say. Anyway, I took Thursday and Friday off work which finally allowed our schedules to match up enough for me to make a quick visit to the shop on Thursday night. It was tiiiiiight. Not sure where to really start, I guess I'll kind of caption the pictures:

I don't think they had this one last time. Porsche Carrera Cup car. You buy these as you see above directly from Porsche for a race series specifically for these cars. They build these at the Porsche factory on the same assembly line as regular street Porsches I believe. These babies are all stripped out and have some bespoke carbon fiber work on the wheel arches and aero bits. Also has a standard roll cage. The engine is race tuned too, natch. Non-turbo. I believe Claes said they got this one from some team that was racing it in some FIA series, but I could be wrong about that. Also raced in the 24 hours of Le Mans a couple times.


My favorite part of this car, since it shares a lot with street cars, it actually uses a regular ass key, which you can see up there complete w/ Porsche keychain in the standard Porsche left-of-the-steering-wheel style orientation. I think this was a '96 model year car. Real pretty, Claes says it sounds amazing too. Unfortunately he didn't start any of them up this time : /


A view of the shop from the front door. It's in this inconspicuous warehouse out by the ocean. In the background on the lift is the 2006 GT3 RSR they were racing in their series the past few years. It's a real looker too, they started it up last time I was there. It sounds mean as hell. Porsche also, obv, from the shape.
The underside of it. Some pretty header work there. Anti-roll bar. The blog won't let me upload these in their original resolution so it's gonna be blurry, sorry.
The Porsche Lola. They had just bought this last time I was there. It wasn't looking NEARLY this good then. They fixed it all up like brand new. Here she was back in her glory days: http://www.championracing.net/2006/History/Porsche_Lola.htm
I recommend taking a peep if you like what you see in the pic. They bought it off some guy in England who bought it from the team I think. Oh, Lola is a specialty racecar manufacturer, http://www.lolacars.com/
which is why it's in the name along with Porsche. Lola made the car and it was powered by Porsche I believe. Claes said he had planned to take this thing out and see what she could do but when they were finished refurbishing it it was just too pretty to play with.
It is spectacular looking. All carbon fiber, a real racecar.

And here's the beast itself. I believe it's chassis 015R, previously raced by Graham Nash Motorsport. I'm not sure how I know that, I think Claes mentioned something in an email and I googled it. Saleen S7R. I don't think they have hardly touched this since they got it. No idea what the plans for it are. I was a little too star-struck to ask all the questions I wanted to about all the cars. And I was only there for about 45 minutes.


Cockpit. Thing had some sick gull-wing door action going on.


Engine bay, and rear. Brand new exhaust, whoever they bought this from was planning on racing it in some Nordic series, which had noise requirements. Really slick car. It was much bigger than I had expected. The street S7's look much smaller in pictures. The front is small, but the ass-end is mammoth.
On to the car they are currently campaigning:

Can ya make out what it says on the carbon intake plenum? Yes indeedy, it is an honest to god REAL Pratt & Miller C5R. Serial #011, the last example before the jump to the C6Rs that I had the privilege of watching race as a guest of Pratt & Miller at the 2007 Grand Prix of Houston. Meaning we were in the pits 2 feet from the cars. I think I've told this story on here before. Anyway, it was freaking sweet... But back to this car...
If you can see in the first pic of the engine bay, the big orange tubes that lead into tiny silver aluminum intake restrictors? Yah the orange tube is supposed to be the amount of air going into the engine, and the weeny assed restrictor is what they have to run in addition to like 200 lbs of ballast or so for them to stay competitive. I think he said they are down to about 580 HP or so. The Oreca Vipers they race against have like 800 HP and are lighter. So in summary, the C5R has to be much less powerful AND heavier in order to stay competitive. Because it is that freaking awesome in "stock" form. I know it barely makes sense, it seems like this thing should be getting spanked by cars that are lighter and more powerful, I mean that's just physics, but it is so well designed, put together, and cutting edge compared to the other cars in the series it has to be seriously handicapped. Another thing about this car that blew my mind. Claes says parts are much cheaper than for any of the Porsches they have owned. That also makes no sense, There's millions of Porsches out there and like, well, 12 of these. And yet Pratt & Miller supplies parts for "reasonable" amounts of money. Unfreakingbelievable. It was super-duper awesome to see this thing. Claes loves it. I can see why.
Well, as I wrote in a previous post, I had mentioned in an email to Claes that I would love to volunteer around the shop or at races or something. Didn't think much would come of it, and he never acknowledged it in any emails, but when I was about to leave we started chatting a little, and long story short he said he would give me a call sometime to help out at a race or something. They weren't sure when they next one was because apparently the races have been called on-off repeatedly, but probably in September. So, more pics and exciting megaposts to come!

THE NIGHT IS DARKEST BEFORE THE BLAH BLAH

So I saw The Dark Knight just now. As I told Frida, I must immediately post to my blog because if my post isn't fueled by rage then it won't be worth posting and I can already feel the rage waning. Heath Ledger. Give me a fucking break. You did a good job playing the joker in a fucking batman movie. Whaddya want, a fucking medal? OH SNAP! You died from taking too many drugs before reaching the age of 30. Whaddya want, a fucking medal? OH SNAP! Everyone's sayin' YOU JUST MIGHT GET A MEDAL! Albeit in the form of a little golden man named Oscar. Props to you for dying! I guess the cockstains in Holier-than-thouwood all gathered together at a big Film Actors Guild meeting and thought "Hmm, drugs are glamourous, obv, but how can we make them MORE glamourous??? I KNOW GIVE SOME ONE WHO OD'D AN OSCAR FOR PLAYING THE JOKER IN A BATMAN MOVIE! I mean, he died right? That MUST make his performance REALLY worth something!"
Talk about overrated, seriously. I'm so pissed right now. Mainly because I was misled into believing this movie was gonna be really awesome and worth seeing, and Heath Ledger is like some kind of acting god for pulling off playing a crazy clown badguy. Pshaw! And I don't mean a contraction of my name. When will they start giving actors awards for NOT doing drugs and depriving the world of real honest to god GOOD entertainment. Or even people who do drugs but don't turn in to fucking wah wah crybaby morons. "Oh I have so much money, oh people love me, boohoo boohoo the pressure is so tough! I need pills to go to sleep at night" Why don't you buy some prostitutes to wear you out before beddy-by time. Fucking money well spent if you look at the alternatives. Here, take Axl Rose, here's what he's got to say:

"I have a different physical constitution and different mindset about drugs than anybody I've known in Hollywood, because I don't abstain from doing drugs, but I won't allow myself to have a fuckin' habit. I won't allow it."

When's he gonna get HIS fucking medal, give HIM an Oscar, seriously. Dudes hangover-black turds on Sunday morning will now literally entertain me more than Heath Ledger can BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING DEAD. All hail Axl, this century's Mark Twain!!!!

FUCK Heath Ledger, and fuck the Jokers that made me think this movie was gonna be sweeeeeeeeet!

YO

At apartment, on couch, watching The Good, The Bad and The Ugly. It's hot. Since nothing here has air-conditioning and it's been in the mid 80s I think (not real sure) it's a tad unpleasant. Example: We went to eat lunch at Kista Galleria (a mall) on Friday and I rode in Anders' 1974 Mustang II. That thing was a piece. He says his wife wouldn't let him buy a new Mustang when he turned 40, and maybe when he turns 50 he'll be depressed enough that she'll let him. I thought that was pretty funny. Anyway the point is in the parking garage it was warm, and according to him parking garages are never warm in Sweden, so it's been very hot for here. I hung out with Fredrick last night and tried to explain the heat in Kansas to him. I don't think he understood how miserable it can be there in the summer. We had a good time out tho, went to the really trendy bar in Gävle where we saw the Gävle soccer team, or he did, I didn't recognize any of them. Also got in free to the Heartbreak Hotel, another bar, cause some guy he knew gave us VIP passes. It was an ok place, even though it was huge. They had a live band playing some Swedish songs that everyone knew, including some song called "I fuck better when I'm drunk". I thought that was great.
Went to Piteå last weekend. It was nice. I really like Frida's uncle's place there. It's kind of out in the country, a farming area, it's dead silent, and when you go out walking in the woods you have to yell a lot so you don't run into bears, which are at record numbers right now. We also made the fairly short trip over to Finland, this town called Kemi or something. It was depressing as shit. The dark, warm, humid and rainy weather didn't help that much. The town was bombed to dust during WWII and so everything had a really ugly Soviet concrete grey look to it. The reason we went tho was to see this dead priest's corpse. Seriously. It's in this tiny church in Kemi. Apparently the guy said like "if my words aren't true then i will rot in the ground, but if they are true than my body shall not decay" or something. Oh, this is like 400 years ago or so. I guess they dug him up a couple hundred years later and were shocked to see his body was still there, just all black and mummyish. So now they have his mummified body in this glass casket in the floor. It's pretty fucking macabre. It was awesome. They say they've done tests and can't find any sign of preservatives er whatever you call that stuff that you mummify folks with. But whatev, I didn't think it was all that strange he never rotted. I mean, he looked like a 400 year old dead guy, whaddya want?

Lately I been watching the Sopranos mostly. Good show, I likes it. Can't wait to see The Dark Knight, probly gonna do it on Thursday. It's like $3o for two movie tickets here. Ah well, it's worth it. Also really looking forward to buying and playing Rock Band 2. And while we're on the subject of stuff I can't wait for, really looking forward to buying a nice car to mess around with. Not for several years tho : ( I daydreams a lot.

Trying to learn the language is going kinda shitty. It's hard without lessons, and I have to concentrate so freaking hard just to have an idea of what people are talking about. Still frustrating. So I guess when school starts back up in a couple months I'll take lessons then (at Upsalla).

Ah well, later ya'll.

Well, so it's been 13 days since last post, oops. Not that I had all kinds of awesome stuff going on or anything. Just that I'm already in a routine, go to work, many times go downtown and screw around for a while, come back, cook dinner, download some music or movies or TV shows or something, watch stuff, read about cars and junk online, go to bed, repeat. It would be rather boring to read about so blogging now will be relegated to when something exciting or worthy or writing about happens.
Work is good, everyone is on vacation pretty much, many companies in Sweden completely shut down around this time, but alas, spreaders operate 24/7 around the globe so we have to keep regular business hours with a skeleton crew. Christopher actually flew to Isreal this afternoon to meet with some blokes who want to buy some of our stuff and had some odd requests, like I think they wanted us to fatigue test a spreader through like 500,000 cycles or something ridiculous, and then to which we said something like "well we have sold many of this type of spreader and they have been going for years and years with no problems, we are past the testing phase" but apparently that was not the answer they wanted. Anyway I'm hoping soon enough I'll be able to go on trips like this, although as I think I've mentioned the guys at work mostly see it as a hassle, especially when it's to meet people who have weird requests and questions. But I love to travel so we'll see...
Had an almost proper thunderstorm yesterday, I think I heard thunder at least 3 times. The rain here is so pussy it could make baby Jesus cry. When it rains I want to be legitimately concerned for my LIFE, not just get my shirt dampened with little polka dots. And another thing about the rain. About 80% of the time, they weather is perfectly clear in the morning but about 3:30 in the afternoon rain clouds start rolling in and the rain starts daintily falling as it is so fond of doing here. I'm guessing this is some sort of side effect from living right next to the ocean, but it's lame since it starts right about the time I leave work and clears up right after I get home. : (
Well, Midsomer Murders is on, and I've missed over half of it now, so YES I'M STILL ALIVE NOW QUIT READING BORING SHIT AND GO LIVE YOURS!

CHAOS IN STOCKHOLM!!!

WHAT COULD IT BE?! Have the people taken to the streets to overthrow the government? Has the military staged a coup? Have anarchists burned the Riksdag to the ground? Have the Chinese invaded? Is it time to, say, crack each other's heads open and... feast on the GOO inside?!?! Why, yes it is Kent. Or not. The paper honestly had that HUGE FONTED! front-page headline Sunday. Why? The city bus drivers are on strike of course! Duh! HOW WILL SOCIETY FUNCTION?!?!
I was seriously scared that I wouldn't make it to work Monday solely based on this headline. And what happened on Monday? Pictures of mobs armed with torches and sickles beheading businessmen in the streets while golden calves are erected to Baal and wealthy merchants take small children as slaves to fulfill their wildest sexual desires faded into the reality of 33% more expressionless non-eyecontact making Swedes silently riding the subway to work. I mean, I'd hate to use the word "alarmist" here but...
Today it was noticeably (actually a lot) busier than usual though since no buses at all are running. Have you ever seen those youtube clips of the begloved asian subway workers whose sole job is to push the people hanging out of the subway car doors inside so that the doors can close? Well it was ALMOST like that. Everyone was packed in like sardines and worried about getting stuck in the doors. I haven't been here that long but it did seem out of the ordinary. Moving on...
Stuff at work is good. For the next month and a half or so most people will be taking vacations, meaning that for instance today I was alone in my little room where usually the three (male) contractors sit with me. I was lonely : ( No matter I filled the silence with Swedish radio off my cell phone. The reception unfortunately sucks and there seems to somehow (if it's even possible) be MORE talking and LESS music than US radio. When music actually IS being played the eclectimeter spirals out of control. Michael Jackson, Lil' Wayne, and Dolly Parton are bookended by Scorpions and some type of Swedish childrens song the only words of which I knew were "grandma" "car" "vacation" and the conjugated verb "I need" repeated ad nauseum. Ok so maybe this is partly due to the fact that I'm constantly surfing for music since 90% of the time all I can find is freakin' Sweden talk. But really even when I don't touch the dial I get some great mash-up style action going. I really appreciate the M.J. especially, I really think I have an unhealthy love for his music, and to a larger extent HIM. So piss off about it already. Oh, and if anyone knows the Dolly Parton album that hipsters like (and I don't think it's the one with "Jolene", but if you're POSITIVE then say so) let me know cause I want to download it for fr- er, um, from iTunes. Or something. But yeah, I really like the radio when it's playing music. Does anyone out there have Giselle Bundchen's number? I'd like to know that also. She's hot.
Hmm what else to tell... This post is relatively good, I'm happy about that.
Oh here:
http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/Cars-Trucks___New-2009-Black-Nissan-GT-R-First-Allotment-in-the-U-S_W0QQitemZ250265466439QQddnZCarsQ20Q26Q20TrucksQQddiZ2282QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item250265466439&_trksid=p3756.m14.l1308
Copy, paste, and thank me later.
I finally got my paycheck cashed today, after getting dicked around by another bank which shall remain nameless (common theme). I guess this is a good example of life in Sweden: /Rant In many places (probably a majority I would say) if you want service you have to take a number from a machine that is conspicuously hidden somewhere inside the place you need service from. So today at the bank the ticket machine was broken, so I had to walk into the bank and stand in line while the machine was being fixed to take a ticket to be in a line to be helped. That was a tad weird, but what was weirder was the hippie-ish thirty-something bespectacled Swede with a ponytail and Birkenstocks who tried to ask me in Swedish what was going on and immediately walked away when I said I spoke English without giving me a second look and asking someone else only to return and start making the situation even weirder by trying to explain to me how weird the situation is that Swedes have to stand in line to stand in line, because they are so rigid about rules or something. If that's so then how come some dick with no ticket just walked right in and when someone was done with their transaction he just walked right up and proceeded to take 10 minutes of the tellers' and MY time by pretending to just ask a small question and then proceeding to structure an entire transaction in front of my eyes, while the teller did nothing more than appear ever so slightly annoyed, but continued to smile and be polite. Yeah, that pissed me off a little since I had to wait 35 minutes for my turn to do something that I've been trying unsuccessfully for over a week to do. /Rant.
Yeah, from my limited experience, banks here suck. I am reminded of the times I worked at a bank and turned people who were trying to cash their paychecks away. However, I was always NICE no matter how pissed they got and gave the people as many other suggestions for alternatives as I could think of, ESPECIALLY the hispanic immigrants who I always had respect for. UNLIKE the bitch at Swedbank who was just, well, a bitch. But today (after my 35 minute wait) all was forgiven when the old lady who I was praying not to get took over for the young (also bitchy) guy who I was praying to get and ended up cashing my check no fees and no questions asked. I really though she would be the bitchiest of all. How wrong I was.

UTÖ

So Utö was cool and no one was sacrificed. That I know of. Two of the dudes that work at Bromma have boats so we took those to the island. Oh, this is after two hours of meetings in Swedish. The best part for me was the discussion of optical strain gauges, since it was in English and I actually knew what was going on for 20 minutes or so. Anyway, after those we loaded onto the boats (about noon) and immediately after leaving the marina (like literally 3 seconds out) beers were cracked. Leaving the marina:


That's my boss Anders on the left and my buddy Kjell-Åke on the right, he's awesome. Note the Staropramens in hand.

After a short 25 or so minute boat ride we pulled into a small island and ate lunch:


Benny is in the foreground with Christopher and Gerry over his right shoulder, with Jerker over his left, and that's Petter tying the boat to the dock. Quite the seaman! Note the Swedish flag. Those things are EVERYWHERE here, and without the slightest hint of nationalism. I really appreciate that.

Anyway for lunch there were these AWESOME sandwiches, with like three kinds of meat, cheese, and condiments all arranged somehow so as to magically create like three sandwiches from one. ‘Twas amazing. This included my favorite sandwich topping: CURRY CHICKEN. SO GOOD. Us eating lunch:

After that there was an impromptu soccer match with coffee and bulle (basically cinnamon rolls), then it was off to Utö. The other boat next to us on the way to Utö:

As soon as we got to Utö we checked in at the main area, had more beers, then walked down to the local football pitch for more soccer. I played on the “skins” team of course, all though in my case it was more of the “sparetirefurjackets” (GET IT? I’M FAT AND HAIRY). They tried their best to get me the ball so I could score but I was way too shitty. I did make a couple tight steals and and maybe one decent pass though, and nobody went easy on me that I could tell, which was cool. I’da been pissed if they just let me score er something. After that it was more beer and I was invited to the sauna. I politely declined as from what I understand that usually means nudity, and with no chicks in sight I was less than eager. I’m not sure who went but I don’t think it was many. Then came dinner. We got what was apparently some special Belgian beer:

When did they start brewing that Bud you’re drinking? 150 Years ago? That’s cool:

THEY STARTED BREWIN’ MY SHIT IN 1074! IN A MONK ABBEY! PROBLY WITH DRAGON TEARS! OR SOMETHING EXPENSIVE I DON’T KNOW! THEMS MONKS! THEYS RICH!!! It was quite a good beer though. We talked about someplace downtown that has like 100 types of really rare beers. One of them you could only get buy putting your name in with the appropriate people (after the matter of finding them), waiting in line, getting a ticket mailed to you, driving to the brewery in France or some shit, paying exorbitant amounts, and then only being allowed to get a 12 pack at most, er something. But this bar supposedly has it on tap, which I’m told is some kind of amazing feat. I was good and buzzed at dinner. My boss all but forced me to take a vacation this summer (unpaid... which wasn't mentioned really) because everyone else will be gone for two to three weeks for the next, er, two to three weeks. I respectfully declined. I will take a day or two off to go to Piteå, but that is a “non-issue” to him. I said I only started in June, so I don’t need to “recharge my battery” yet as he claimed. He countered with “but you had school before that” to which I cleverly replied “YES! But now I have evenings and weekends free, which is LIKE a vacation, EVERY WEEK!” He still wants me to take time off but fuck it.

Anyway long story short I was drunk so I went home early (despite the protestations and offerings of libation from nearly everyone) so as to not get shitfaced on my first outing with co-workers. Others did not. Apparently one guy who shall remain nameless woke up at 4am. On a rock. In the woods. And had to find his way home. I hear this is common behavior for work parties here. PATTY LIKEY

Sorry for the cut and paste style here... I cutted and pasted all this : ( Oh and Tana, I'm taking all these pics on my cell phone, so that's as good as they get until I get a proper camera, which I have no plans to do anytime soon. Sorry!